Chapter 2 - Skits (1)

In order to give you some specific information for things to present on your pep assemblies, the following skits are suggested. Many times these skits may be re-arranged somewhat, expanded upon, or shortened to fit your particular situation. Individual creation is always more effective than memorized ideas of others. The group of skits presented here, when properly displayed to your students, and with some "outstanding acting" by the players, will bring many a laugh and add a great deal to your rally. It is suggested that you read the entire skit before judging it's usefulness in your case, for it sometimes takes the entire skit to bring out the idea behind it. In other words many of these skits have been designed so as to have their "punch lines" at the very end and the rest of the skit is just a slow "build up." They will surprise you as well as your audience. Costumes naturally play a major part in the success of any skit so be sure to outfit each player in "just the right costume."

Battle In The Forest

Narrator: Our scene takes place before the big game between the (school) (mascot) Knights and the Indians.

Scene: The scene is in a quiet forest. A fan is needed in the wings to make wind. All cheerleaders enter the forest gasping at its beauty.

Barbara: Isn't this a delightful place. So peaceful ... so quiet . . . the sun arises and peace reigns supreme.

Marsha: It is just beautiful here, Barbara. I just love it.

Donna: Is that the wind that is starting to blow?

Dolly: Barbara . . . did you say peace reigns supreme here, (wind is howling).

Mary: Hark! I hear the sound of hoofs ... it couldn't be the Lone Ranger because the William Tell Overture is not playing.

Barbara: Neither is it Friday the detective ... I do do not hear DUM DE DUM DUM.

Marsha: (Looking into the wings) Why it's a Knight on his prancing charger . . . he's not searching for the Holy Grail ... he seems to be ready to attack something.

Dolly: Isn't this exciting ... or is it? The suspense is terrific, (cheerleaders all act excited and look into wings)

Mary: Wait! I see an Indian ... do Knights attack Indians ... or don't they?

Barbara: This Knight will because he is an Knight and that is a Indian.

Marsha: What a scrap! Oh there's the rest of our Knights!

Donna! What a battle!

Dolly: What a terrific fight!

Barbara: (turning to the audience) Let's show them, gang, we are for our Knights, (cheerleaders lead with a yell.)

Marsha: Oh just look at our proud Knights we won - we won - we won!

Narrator: Peace and quietness again reign. The wind subsides, the sun sets, (a dead Indian could be drug across the floor) The curtain closes and our little play is over.

Casey's Coffins

Scene: The effect should be of a radio station broadcasting a paid advertising program. The advertiser is a mortician and the broadcasting is being made from his business place. Candles for lighting (or very dim light); perhaps a corpse could be laying on a table in the background, with a sheet draped over the (student) corpse . . . flowers over his stomach and an attendant standing nearby. A quartet of singers are standing near the announcer. The team coach is at hand to be interviewed. Announcer: Good evening ladies and gentlemen . . . this is station D-E-A-D bringing you good people an exclusive interview with coach (your coach) just before the big game with (opponents). As always this program is sponsored by the makers of Casey's Coffins. Casey's Comfortable Coffins are known all over the Country. Now before we begin our exclusive interview with Coach let us have a brief word from our sponsors.

Enter the quartet of singers who are dressed in black or they could be draped in a sheet, to sing the commercial. They sing the following words to the tune of "Super Suds-Super Suds." Casey's Coffins they are fine Made of satin brass and pine When you're loved ones pass away Let them go the Casey Way Announcer: Now coach, what do you think about tonight's game?

Coach: Well folks, . . . the way I see it ... (announcer breaks in)

Announcer: That's swell Coach now for another word from our sponsor.

Ad. Narrator: Friends, Casey's has two ways in which you can purchase your coffin. You may try our convenient lay away plan or you may pay as you go I

Announcer: Now Coach, back to tonight's game.

Coach: Well, ... as I see it ... (announcer breaks in again)

Announcer: And now for a brief word from our sponsor. Enter the singers who will sing the following (tune of "Sivper-Suds") Casey has a cemetery

Lots more room in which to bury Plenty of trees, always a breeze People are dying just to come see.

Announcer: Now . . . back to our very interesting interview with Coach              Now Coach you have been telling us about . . .

Coach: Well . . . the way I see it ... (Announcer breaks in)

Announcer: But first a word from our sponsor.

Ad. Narrator: Friends, we have never had a complaint from one of our customers. Casey's Comfortable Coffins are definitely the last word in super deluxe comfort and styling. You're paying for the last word in coffins . . . make sure you get one! Remember our motto: "We will be the last to let you down."

Announcer: Coach do you have some final word you would like to make about the game?

Coach: Yes, ... I would like to ... (Announcer breaks in)

Announcer: That's fine Coach, WE CERTAINLY HAVE ENJOYED YOUR ENLIGHTENING INTERVIEW today and we appreciate all the valuable information you gave our listening audience. I am sure you're team will go out there tomorrow and "KNOCK 'EM DEAD." (All on stage applaud the coach).

The singers could end the skit with the song. "I'll be glad when you're Dead you rascal you." or sing the following commercial. Casey lays them straight and neat Dressed in shrouds from head to feet So remember when you go Casey's is the place to know.

The Cheerleaders Mock The Players

Narrator: They say every dog has his day and today is team day. So Ladies and Gentlemen, today we are going to introduce our mighty athletes to you. Scene: The cheerleaders or pep club members are dressed to represent the various members of the football or basketball team. As the scene opens this "team" is in a huddle and they execute the following chant:

Team: Snap it up halfback Snap it up guard Push that line back, 50 yards
We want a touchdown And we want it quick So call those signals and Block that kick Scene: The "team" goes to the microphone, one at a time, to say the following verses:

Team Captain: I'm the Captain of this mighty Team When I walk down the street All the Girls Swoon and Scream I'm big and strong and there's no fat here And it's for my team they always cheer And when we play our next big game I'm sure my team will gain the fame.

Team Center: My name is "Putting Par" But I never play the Tee I'm always working on my car Right under my girl's tree Center is my position
I'm always getting smears When someone hits me in the back I'm afraid I'll strip my gears.

Substitute: I'm another guy on the team I want you to listen to my steam The coach says to me "Be in by ten" 'Cause training always makes us win Training, training says Coach Finch Makes the game we play a big fat cinch But Coach, how much training does it take Just to warm that ice cold bench?

Halfback: I'm halfback on the (school) team Just look at me I'm always on the beam Though I ain't very big and I ain't very tall I'm really the very best of all I'm very, very good And if you don't believe me Someone else will tell you But better yet ask me.

Quarterback: I could sink into the ground When the girls cheer for me I'm glad I play inside the line Where they can't see me! Now I don't know what to say Cause I'm sort of shy Don't all say that I'm so cute I get so embarrassed I could die!

Waterboy: I'm real important On this mighty team I throw the water When the players are steamed I carry the water And wring out the towels And when I give the smelling salts Boy, I do hear them howl. They say I'm really on the ball As a water boy that is, Why don't they let me play Gee Whiz!

Narrator and Cheerleaders: Sing the following to tune of "Put on your old Grey Bonnet" (change to your school colors) Put on your old white sweater With the big maroon letter And (school) will enter in the fight, In the fight Down the field we'll thunder As we play them under This is (school) victory night!

Chef Girl-Ar-Dee

Narrator: Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I am Chef Girl-Ar-Dee. I want to tell you of my special home made recipe for team success.

Scene: Narrator is standing in front of a table with a large pail and spoon. Cheerleaders and team (or group of people), backs to audience, stand in huddle.

Narrator: My first essential ingredient is fifteen tablespoons (acts this out with spoon) ... of COACH! (Coach struts on stage).

Coach: My boys are 99-44/100% pure. And man you ought to see them float down that floor.

Scene: Cheerleaders could then swing quickly around from their huddle and lead yell: Yea coach, yea Allan Yea yea Coach Allan (cheerleaders then swing back into their huddle), coach stands aside.
Narrator: Yes, coach, this seems to be the most important part, a solid team. How about twenty-five tablespoons of this . . . combined with the coach and stirred with a stiff beat?

Scene: A girl bends over like a ball; she represents the team and says:

Girl: Here I am coach ... all equipped with my ball. (The cheerleaders could then swing into action with this yell:

T-E-A-M T-E-A-M T-E-A-M TEAM, TEAM, TEAM

Narrator: A good cheering section is really a way to inspire a team. I think I would use at least twenty tablespoons of this. The cheerleaders could then swing into action with a yell such as this:

Now we have a coach (yea Allan) And we have the team (yea Team) Cheerleaders: Have we got some fans? Audience: Yea Man! Cheerleaders: Then let's make some noise. Audience: GO BADGERS GO!

Narrator: Then we need a big crowd to inspire the team and show they're devoted interest. And the crowd of course needs pep and enthusiasm, so let's add five tablespoons. (A person to represent the crowd comes out full of vigor and pep, jumping and dancing, etc.) And to lead that peppy crowd we need cheerleaders. Let's not underestimate their power and influence so let's add twenty tablespoons of this.

Scene: A person comes out on stage walking very slowly and completely wrapped in a sheet to represent being a ghost. She very slowly says; in a ghostly manner:

Ghost: All ... we ... need ... is ... SPIRIT. SCHOOL SPIRIT!

Narrator: Yesss . . . we need all these . . . indeed . . . but where would a team be without a referee? Of course a referee must be used fairly for both sides, so let's add five tablespoons for him.

Scene: Referee comes running out on stage and says:

Referee: Play ball.

Narrator: This seems to add up to 100 tablespoons which in my special book equals 100%. So folks use my recipe whenever you want victory. Doesn't it sound effective?

Dark And Stormy Night

Cast of Characters: Farmer, Nell, Dummy, Villain, Constable:

Note: In this Skit, Everyone Bounces Up and Down With Each Phrase!

Farmer: T'was a dark and stormy night when my Nellie went away,

I never will forget it 'til my dying day. She was sweet sixteen, Home-coming Queen, The purdiest thing you ever done seen. The game ain't the same since Nellie went away, The coaches all died and the team won't play. But out in the window still hangs a light, Twenty below zero gosh what a night.

(Nell Enters)

Nell: K nock, Knock,

Farmer: Who's that knocking at my door?

Nell: It's your little Nellie, don't you know me anymore?

Farmer: Where's that athlete feller that called you honey?

Did he leave you alone cause you nagged for money?

Nell: He's a great big brute and he run with ease, And he has more women than a dog has fleas. He left me the night of the Cambridge game, The very same night little Dummy came.

(Dummy Enters)

When the whistle blew the ball was gone, That's when Dummy appeared on the lawn.

Farmer: Is that the dummy???!!!

Nell: Tain't no other.

Farmer: It's got a head like your dear dead mother. But you can't stay here with that there child.

Nell: Father dear you're driving me wild.
(Villain enters, knocks on farmer's head)

Villain: K nock, Knock, K nock, K nock.
 
Farmer: Who's that pounding on my bean? Villain: It's only me from the Cambridge team.

Give me the Dummy or I'll do you harm,

Cause I own the mortgage on this gosh darn farm. Nell: You can't hurt us don't you know?

Milaca always beats its foe.

They didn't mean to beat that bad,

But they sure made your team look sad. Villain: Give me the Dummy can't you see?

It's the only thing that will score for me.
(Constable enters)

Constable: Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock.

Farmer: Who's that knocking? Sounds like a mule. Constable: Can't you see by my badge I'm the Con-sta-bule ?

What is wrong here? Come and tell. Farmer: He ain't done right by my little Nell. Villain: Oh, yes I have, Farmer: Oh, no you ain't, Villain: Oh, yes I have, Farmer: Oh, no you aint.

Constable: You stole his land and you took his daughter, That ought to cost you about a dollar and a quarter.

All: Which Goes To Show The Way We Fight, We're Bound To Beat Cambridge Tonight.

Milaca High School

Dragnet

Scene: The band plays the usual "Dragnet" music, dum de dum dum. Someone walks in dressed in black scarf, black hat and goes to microphone.

Narrator: "The Gangater Speaks." In a monotone, never raising his voice and never cracking a smile.

The Story you're about to hear is true only the names have been changed to protect (opponents mascot). The band plays a few more bars of "Dragnet" and stops when Narrator continues

Narrator: 7:30 P.M. My name's the Fighting (your mascot) It is October 2nd, 19 there has been a wise Bulldog spreading a lot of false rumors of a Woodrow Wilson victory. My job . . . GET THOSE BULLDOGS. Band plays Dum de Bum Dum, etc. 8 P.M. . . . from our ballistic reports we traced them to High School Stadium at they put up a good fight but we're not a match for Lieutenant your coach, forces. Band dum de dum dum 9:45 P.M. We took them in on a forty to nothing score We just played a hunch this is what I call "Crazy Man Crazy."

The Football Ballet

Narrator: Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen: We have arranged something extra special for you to see tonight. Listen carefully because this is going to be rather secret ... we are going to look in on a secret practice session of the (Scotties) (your opponents mascot.)

 Scene: The scene opens with the opposing team's coach entering the stage and asking in a real loud voice:

Coach: Where are those little puppy dogs of mine? Then one by one a bedraggled group of football players enter from the wings. These players incidentally may be girls wearing sweat shirts with towels stuffed on their shoulders to look like shoulder pads and possibly paper sacks on their heads, cut square across the forehead and rounded around the ears to resemble football helmets.

Coach: Now gang after a great deal of thought and imagination I have worked out a very, very excellent play which I know is going to stop those (home Mascot) tomorrow night. Now I want to caution you all that this play has got to start on the button and for this play we're going to use the number 81 hike. Now gang get number 81 firmly entrenched in your beans that's the number we go-go-go on! ... for instance . . . I'll give it to you now . . .51 61 71           HIKE, and on hike the band strikes up with a tune such as the "Blue Danube Waltz" or "Skaters Waltz," etc., and then immediately all the "football boys" start into a dance, waltzing, balleting, etc. This comes as a complete surprise of course to the audience and results are usually amusing.

Coach: Standing in the middle holding his head with his hands. No! No! No! No!

Going My Way?

Here is an excellent pantomime which may be staged at a pep meeting by any pep organization, with the members of the athletic team participating if desired.

Scene: Two chairs are placed close together near the center of the stage, representing the driver's seat of an automobile. Here sits the driver, steering with an imaginary wheel. He may be a popular athletic star, but whoever plays the part should have some acting ability. A short distance in front of the two chairs, another player crouches on all fours, representing the car's engine. The other player, crouching on hands and knees at left and right of the two chairs respectively, represent the tires.

A master of ceremonies, stationed at one side near the footlight or, if preferred, in the wings, enters, or stands in the wings, and recites the following introduction:

Narrator: Listen my children and you shall hear Of a midnight ride in second gear. The trusty car is the (name of school) team, As fine an outfit as ever was seen. This character (points to engine player), out in front so far.

Is playing the engine of our car. And these two gals (indicates tires), whom we admire,

Each represents a good front tire. Our auto has no tires in the rear (points) 'Cause there's a rubber shortage here. The driver takes his trusty machine, Fills it up with gasoline, And starts away to a football game Along the highway that leads to fame. The master of ceremonies retires, and the pantomime begins. The driver brings from the wings a can presumably filled with gasoline and pours the imaginary liquid into the hip pocket of the engine, being careful to unscrew and tighten the imaginary cap.

The driver goes through the pantomime of opening the door, getting- into the car, and starting it. After 3 or U coughs from the engine the car starts an action indicated by the driver's shaking in the seat and occasionally bouncing up and down as the machine hits a bump.

A sixth player, representing a member of the opposing team, runs out into the road and thumbs a ride. The driver goes through the motions of applying the brakes and throwing open the door, and the opponent gets in, sitting on the chair beside the driver.

Again the engine is started, but as soon as the car gets underway, the two tires go flat on their stomachs. The driver opens the door, gets out and gets the pump out of the toolbox, and as he pumps, the tires go back to their original positions. The opponent gives a horse laugh, causing the tires to collapse again. After being blown up a second time, the tires stay put, and the trip is resumed.

Next the engine loses his belt, becomes hot, and begins to puff. The driver stops and climbs out, gets a water can, and pours its imaginary contents into the mouth of the engine.

The next hitch-hiker is a big, tough looking player dressed as a girl, with a sign on him reading "VICTORY." The driver and opponent scramble out of the car and help Victory in to a seat between them. The engine and the two tires soon collapse again. The driver pulls the opponent out of the car and beats him up. Then the driver picks up the pump but, as he approaches the tires, the tires rise to their former positions by themselves. He brings the water can but the engine revives itself.

He gets back into the car, gives Victory a big hug, and waves at the audience. As the curtain closes, the master of ceremonies appears and recites, or announces over a loud speaker: Narrator: The moral of our stunt is this:

When he picked up (Opponent), all went amiss.
If we just beat that (Opponent) team,
There'll be lots of room for Victory
In the (name of home school) machine.

The Haunted Locker Room

Narrator: Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. Last year before our big game with (the Indians) someone broke into our locker room and made away with our mascot and some of our equipment. So to prevent that from happening again this year we have decided to guard the room all night.

Scene: School locker room. Football helmets and equipment all scattered around. On one side there are two large chairs. The chairs will later seat the ghosts, so situate them where persons can slip in and out of them without being easily detected by the audience. Enter Bob, Bill and Cheerleaders. There is a telephone in the room.

Bob: Well gang here we are. It is going to be awful lonesome for me to stay in this cold weird room all night.

Bill: Well Bob, we sure do not want a recurrence of what happened last year when we lost all our stuff and mascot.

Cheerleader: It won't be too bad Bob. Besides there is a telephone and if you get lonesome you can call us.

Bill: There are plenty of blankets here for you to coil up in.

Bob: Yes, I see them and sure glad they are here.

Bill: Well, guess we better be going as we have lots to do before we get to bed. Now remember if you need anything just use the 'phone and don't leave the place a minute. Bill and cheerleaders start to leave saying goodbye, sleep tight, don't let the Indians get you, etc.

Bob: Gosh this place is spooky when everyone is gone.

Bob looks around the room carefully and there is a lamp on the side opposite chair. I wonder if it would be alright to turn the lights out.

As he turns the light out, the ghost in large sheet comes in, sits in chair and drapes sheet over the chair for easy exit. The sheet has a concealed cord attached so the sheet can be pulled quickly in the props later.

It's just too dark here for me. Guess I'll leave the light on so I can see. He hears a noise and turns quickly around. What's that!

Ghost: In hollow spooky voice obtained by using a can, horn, etc. I'm a ghost you know. I'm the ghost of the Indians.

Bob: (mumbling to the side) Huh, ghost, I'll show this guy. I'm glad to meet you Ghost. I am Bob Jones.

Ghost;: Thank you Bob . . . but look . . . aren't you afraid of me?

Bob: Afraid? Heck no; why should I be afraid of you?

Ghost: Well I am glad you are that way. Most people are scared of me they do not like to hear my clicking bones inside this sheet you know.

Bob: I know, I know. Now tell me just what you are doing here.

Ghost: I am glad you asked that Bob. I want to talk to some of you (cowpokes J. You murdered me last year with a 12 to 0 score you know, and you left me dead. DEAD . . . DEAD! Well, tomorrow I am coming back to life and whip you, Cowpokes.

Bob: Murdered, that's interesting, Whip us? Huh!

Ghost: Yes yes ... I bled to death right on that field out there last year and not only that . . . the year before you scalped me with a 21 to 20 score you know.

Bob: Now isn't that just jolly.

Ghost: My blood was red . . . very red . . . very very red.

Bob: Suppose so ... say ghost do you ghost for a living? Where are you going to ghost tomorrow night after us cowpokes murder you again? Bob is fixing to go to sleep in blanket.

Ghost: Sometimes we fellows go into the graveyard and sing. Let me give you a little of my good baritone voice. Ghost howls in awful gruesome manner. Lights blink and another ghost comes in and sits down alongside the first ghost. Ghosts together yell and holler and now and then howl "Indians."

Bob: You fellows are starting to gang up on me aren't you? How did you get in here anyway? Guess I better get some help.

Ghost: What's the matter, don't you like our beautiful singing? It's only one o'clock and the rest of us murdered Indians plan spending the night with you.

Bob: More? Bob goes to 'phone and calls the cheerleaders. Cheerleaders rush in, act scared to death of the ghosts.

Come on now you cheerleaders, get these ghosts out of here and off my neck. Cheerleaders lead some yells . . .the ghosts only partially move . . . another yell, the boys under sheets escape leaving sheets draped around chairs ... a real loud yell causes the sheets to fly up and out into the wings. This can be done by pulling a string over a pulley which is tied to the sheet.

Narrator: That's fine, Ladies and Gentlemen. Those Indians cannot scare us from victory tomorrow.

The History Of Cheerleading

Narrator: The Cheerleaders of () High School being such astute scholars of History have decided to delve back into the days of yore and bring to you today "What Was Hep in Cheerleading in Days of Yesteryear." You may not know it but way back in the days of the Cave Man, all tribes or whatever they had in those days, had Cheerleaders. The findings from our scientific research have definitely established that the Cave Man Cheerleaders were like this:

Scene: (Enter a boy and girl dressed in burlap sacks. Boy can be half-bare chested with black hair painted on his chest and dragging out the girl whose hair is very mussed up. The girl could be draped over the boy's shoulder (one leg over the boy's shoulder, the boy holding her by the ankle). They stop at mid-stage, face the audience and the boy grunts Ugh! Ugh! Fight! or some such phrase and then turns and off they go. The girl might also say "Ugh! Ugh!" on an off beat.)

Narrator: Following History on a little further we come to the days of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table. Here a tournament could not be held without the gallant Cheerleaders.

Scene: (Enter from opposite sides of the stage on stick horses with cardboard shields and cardboard swords and tin foil helmets, etc. As the two figures approach each other in tournament fashion two shy maidens step out and lead a cheer of the following nature: "Stick Him High, Stick Him Low, Yeaaaa Knights Gad! What a Blow!" During the yell one Knight strikes down the other on the "Gad"!)

Narrator: Now we enter the Elizabethan period where things were quite reserved and dignity was ever present.

Scene: (Enter two girls with long ankle length dresses and bustle. Very delicately they lead a yell like this: "Skuffle Fellows Skuffle, Skuffle Fellows Skuffle, Skuffle Fair and Skuffle Square, but Skuffle, Skuffle, Skuffle.)

Narrator: They were really wild in those days weren't they? Next as you might remember the roaring '20s roared in and the Cheerleaders looked like this:

Scene: (Enter two girls dressed in turned down hose and other typical 1920 Vintage clothes.

The following yell to a Charleston dance routine could be done):

Girls: "East High East High (your High School name.) Way down in (your state).

We hit 'em high, We hit 'em low
Cause we gotta team that goes, goes, goes.
Our boys are rough and they are tough
Our opponents all holler Nuff, Nuff, Nuff!
Cause our team is Red Hot!
Hotcha, Hotcha, Poop ee doop! (and Charleston on off.).

Narrator: Hotcha Poop a Doop! I'll bet Mrs (one of the older teachers) really lived it up in those days. Now this brings us to the Modern "Cats" of today. Scene: (Enter two with sport coats collars turned up wearing dark glasses, etc. They slink on in

Be-Bop fashion, and say): Girls: "O.K. You Cool Cats dig this."

"We got Pep, We got Style
We've got a team that's really tiled
Solid Murder, Strickly Mild.
Come on Cool Cats, Let's drive 'em wild!
Meow!"

Scene: (Slink off twirling key chain, etc.) Narrator: "Well, that's the progress we've made in Cheerleading the past 1000 years." Scene: Curtain closes.

How To Make A Basketball Team

The idea of this skit is to supposedly have a large Pot or Kettle on the stage and one by one the Coach has players get in the kettle. The players are to act "green" and are not supposed to be familiar with the game, etc. After the players are all in the Pot the Coach orders a fire built under the Pot and he takes a large stick and stirs the players to supposedly cook them into a football or basketball team. The Kettle could be a large refrigerator box big enough for five boys to hide or the baok could be out and a platform built around the box. Use crepe paper for decorations and to hide the "pot." Have a large chef's hat on the Coach so he looks like a cook.

Coach: To-night, Ladies and Gentlemen I am going to show just how a winning basketball team is made. In this cauldron we have on the stage we are going to mix together the ingredients of our winning team. (Claps) Bring on the ingredients!

Scene: The five basketball players come forward dressed in ordinary bluejeans or school clothes. (Eleven are brought in if the skit is for football). One by one the boys appear before the coach and after he asks them the following questions, which they answer crazily, they climb into the pot.

Coach: Now young man I would like to have your name. (Boy answers, Andy Panda, Ima Loon, etc.).

Where do you live? (Possum Holler, Koon Kreek, Shantytown, etc.)

Have you ever played basketball? (No, what's that? Something to eat in a basket?). Well, my boy, you look like just what we need on our team, as you are full of pep and interest, so climb in the pot we have here and make yourself comfortable.

Scene: This same scene takes place while each player in turn is asked the same questions and gives crazy answers and each in turn climbs into the pot.

Coach: Now folks, I think we have a good start on our winning team. Those boys look like fine material that we have in our kettle here. So let's start the fire.

Scene: Cheerleaders bring red crepe paper to resemble the fire and start fanning it. Cheerleaders then bring in several large empty soap boxes labeled "spirit," "teamwork," "practice," "pep," etc. Coach supposedly empties contents of each into pot as he says.

Coach: Now my teams require lots of school spirit to make them winners, so let me have the carton of spirit. . . . there that is fine . . . now let me have the box of practice . . . my boys have to practice lots so they work smoothly together ... there that's fine . . . now please, the precious box of pep, that's so important, you know. Now this steaming cauldron is really cooking us a team folks . . . Come on you cheerleaders let's start some real yelling to fan the flames under our steaming cauldron, and most important we need solid school spirit from all you students so the team knows you are pulling for them, so let's have so much enthusiastic yelling the chandeliers up there start shaking. Scene: Cheerleaders lead in several yells. Coach stirs and stirs the pot.

Coach: Now I think we have it ... yes, I think our team is made . . . let's see.

Scene: Coach looks into pot, decides it's ready and assists the players out one by one from the pot. The players changed their clothes while in the pot and now are in their basketball outfits.

Coach: What did I tell you folks. Aren't they a fine looking team? Yea Team!

Scene: Cheerleaders lead several yells.

I'll Get To That Game

CAST

Willie Wise Guy                        An Employee
Miss Lamour                            Secretary
Mr. Smart                                The Boss

Scene: An office outside the inner office of the Boss. Willie and Miss Lamour are busy at their desks. (The Boss is also busily engaged at his desk).

Willie: "Gee, I just remembered today is the big game between (hometown High) and (Opponent High). I wish I could outsmart old Smart-puss and get off to go."

Miss Lamour: "Why don't you go in and ask him real nice. He is a very fair man and would probably let you go."

Willie: "Naw, you have to handle birds like him tough. He's not as smart as everyone says he is. I'll show him I will just bust in there and sweep him off his feet. I'll show him who's really smart around here." (Willie puts on his hat and coat and backs up and barges right into the Boss's office.)

Willie: (Hat still on his head, rushes in and sits on the corner of the Boss' desk.) "Say Boss, there is a big game today between     and and I think that I'll take the afternoon off and go see it. OK? We only need one man in the office today, anyway."

Mr. Smart: "Say, that's right, the big game is today. (Looking up with sort of a disappointed, pained expression): "Now, Willie, that is no way for an employee to ask his boss for the afternoon off. Here, you sit down at my desk and be the boss and I will be the employee and show you how it should be done." (Mr. Smart gets up and goes over and gets his own hat and coat and goes out the door.)

Willie: (To the audience): "I knew I would get him eating out of my hand. I'll go along with his little gag and then shove off. I even think I can get the old tightwad to buy my ticket and even do some of my work. Humph! And they call him smart." (Willie sits down at the desk and gets out a cigar, puts his feet on the desk and begins to read the funny papers). A faint knock is heard at the door.

Willie: "Well, what is it. Just don't stand there pecking at my door. Get yourself on in here! I haven't got all day! (Ha! This is rich!)"

Enter Mr. Smart, coming over quietly to the desk, removes his hat, fingers it, etc.

Mr. Smart: "Please, sir, there's going to be a big game this afternoon at and my son is going to play."

Willie: "Well, well, what has that got to do with me?"

Mr. Smart: "Well, sir if it wouldn't be too much trouble, I would like to take the afternoon off and go see him play."

Willie: (Winking to the audience): "Well, have you got your work all finished?"

Mr. Smart: "Well, almost."

Willie: "Don't worry about it. You just bring it in to me. I'll finish it, and say, how you fixed for dough? Here, take this five spot and have a real good afternoon."

Mr. Smart: "Oh thank you, sir. I will go out and get my work." (He goes out of the office and quietly tells Miss Lamour to get her hat and coat and get ready to take the afternoon off.) He returns to the office with all the papers that need to be attended to that day.

Mr. Smart: "Here, sir, here is my unfinished work. Thanks a lot oh, yes, and thanks for the five dollars." (Takes bill out of Willie's hand and leaves office, takes Miss Lamour by the hand and both sneak out of the outer office.) "Come on, let's make that ball game."

Willie sits down in the Boss' chair and holds his sides laughing. "Boy, did I ever show him. He can't help but give me the day off now." Continues to laugh and then suddenly wonders where the Boss went. He goes out of the inner office and finds a note on his desk. "Thanks for treating us to the game today and being so nice to stay and take care of the office." Willie stands there and does a slow burn. Willie: "If the Tigers are half as worked up as I am they're sure to win!"

The Candy Store

Narrator: Our skit today Ladies and Gentlemen is the story of a little old woman that runs a candy store. Unfortunately we did not have an opportunity to secure all the necessary scenery, props and so on that we really should have to present this skit properly. We wonder if we could secure the help of several of you in the audience? . . . Fine . . . now will you . . . you . . . and you . . . volunteer?

Scene: Narrator selects 3 students from the audience. They are ushered up to the stage and asked to stand in line next to a table or prop that is supposed to represent a candy store counter. They are asked to raise their arms over their heads and clasp their hands thus forming a circle over their heads.

Narrator: Now Ladies and Gentlemen our scenery is complete. It is the end of the day and the little old woman is getting ready to close her candy store when three hungry children enter.

Scene: The old woman is busy spreading a cover over the candy counter, dusting off the figures, etc., when the 3 children enter.

1st Child: Do you have any nice chocolates to-day?

Old Woman: No, I am sorry, I am all out of chocolates.

Child No. 2: I'd like some jelly beans do you have any jelly beans?

Old Woman: No, I am sorry we are out of those too, today.

3rd Child: I just love licorice ... do you have any licorice?

Old Woman: No, that is something we happen to be out of just now.

1st Child: Well just what do you have?

Old Woman: I don't have anything left today but these three suckers.

Scene: Old woman points to the three students brought up from the audience.

Little Blue Victory

CAST

Little Blue Victory                     Grandmother
First Tree                                 Wolf (Creature)
Second Tree                             Huntsman

Scene opens: (Two students with some foliage in each hand and a sign "Tree" on them are standing about 10 feet apart. On the extreme right of the stage sits Grandmother in a rocking chair.

Narrator: "One day Little Blue Victory was tripping gaily through the forest." (Enter Little Blue Victory with sign "Victory" on her. The Tree sticks out one leg and Blue Victory trips over it.)

Narrator: "She is on her way to Grandmother's house to give her the latest news on the coming game." (Blue Victory skips among the trees.) Narrator: "Unknown to Little Blue Victory, a terrible (opposing team's mascot) is lurking in the forest and just happens to catch a fleeting glimpse of her." (Creature jumps out from behind a Tree and looks directly in Blue Victory's face.)

Narrator: "He surmises where Blue Victory is going and decides to rush to Grandmother's house before Blue Victory can get there." (Creature heads toward Grandmother's house.) "He knocks on the door (Knock, Knock) and Grandmother in her wee voice bids him to enter."

Grandmother: "Well, just don't stand there beating on the door, come on in, can't you see it's unlocked."

Narrator: "The Creature enters and after a fierce struggle he finally subdues Grandmother and takes her place in the chair." (The Creature motions to Grandma to get out, and she immediately jumps out of the chair and goes off stage.)

Narrator: "Just then Little Blue Victory" knocks gently on the door and the Creature bids her to enter. I would like to stop now and explain to all of you that Victory thinks that it is Grandmother in the chair, but as you remember the Creature, after a very fierce struggle with Grandmother, threw her out in a very ungentlemanly way and now he is in the rocking chair. Now back to our story Blue Victory enters and looks at Grandmother. Now this kid is shrewd and she senses that something is wrong, so she proceeds to make some observations.

Blue Victory: "Grandmother, what big eyes you have."

Creature: "Better to see those plays with my dear."

Blue Victory: "And Grandmother what big hands you have."

Creature: "Better to pass that ball with my dear."

Blue Victory: "And Grandmother, what big feet you have."

Creature: "Better to trample the team with my dear and I'm going to do it tonight."

Blue Victory: "Oh, no!" (And she tries to run away.)

Narrator: The Creature runs after her, but just at that moment as the Creature was about to devour Blue Victory, the mighty (Home team Mascot) appeared and quickly slew the Creature. Then the mighty (Home team mascot) took Victory out of the grasp of the terrible Creature and took her for his very own.

Memory Lane

Here is a skit that usually is very popular with the student body, as it brings into the picture individual members of the Football or Basketball team as well as teachers or anyone else you care to mention.

Scene: The scene opens in a park. (Two benches, or so.) A well-dressed man and woman enter. (Students dressed to appear middle-aged.) They sit down on a bench and begin remarking what a nice day it is, except for his back-ache, etc.

Enter a bum in tattered clothes looking for a cigarette butt. The man on the bench flicks a cigarette down and the bum rushes for it. Woman: "Isn't that awful, there ought to be a law against people like him being let loose in a public park." Man: "Yes you're right. Look, dear, it says in the paper that High is playing tonight.

I wonder who's coaching now. Remember (the Coach) he sure was a good coach, he really knew how to get up a good team." Bum: (hears a bit of the conversation and says):

"Say, did you say that Highwas playing tonight?" Woman: "Well I never! I Why say! Aren't you, the captain of that wonderful 1958 Basketball team? Why sure it's old (nickname). My goodness, how are you?"
 
Bum: "Oh fine, I'm just between jobs right now 6 years between. Say, what ever happened to old Remember he used to date all the time."

Woman: "Oh they are married now and have 13 children."

Man: "Say remember Mr I wonder if he's still principal?"

Woman: "Now John, that was twenty years ago, and he was as old as the hills then."

Man: "Now I wouldn't say that, a man like Mr. Can stay 39 for years and years. At least that's what Miss, the teacher used to say."

Bum: "Remember old    I wonder how he is, etc., etc." (This goes on until several members of the team have been mentioned and possibly some humorous things have been related about each one.)

Conclusion of the sJcit

Man: "I've got a wonderful idea. Let's all go to the game tonight. I wonder if they are still giving that old cheer: "Yea (a popular school yell)

Let's try it and get warmed up for tonight." (The woman leads the cheer and the curtain closes.)

Network Failure

The skit opens up with some student sitting in front of a make believe television set trying to tune the days game in.

Student: I wonder how the game is coming. I think I'll turn on the T.V.

Announcer: This is channel 10 in Glenwood. Tonite we are telecasting that exciting game you've been hearing about Glenwood versus Morris. It's a beautiful night for the game. People have flocked from all over the United States to see this game. The bleachers are packed with students and the fabulous Glenwood High school band is marching on the field. To the delight of everyone they begin to play the school song. And now a word from our sponsor.

Muriel Cigar Ad (a girl comes on stage pretending she is a cigar).

Announcer: The game is about to begin now. Here is the starting line up for Glenwood. LeMayne "Monster" Vacek, Duane "Demon" Sheldon, "Cyclone" Charboneau, (and other names of players with the appropriate nicknames for each).

For the Morris Kittens, I mean Tigers we have: (Give the names of the players to imply that they are weaklings)

The game is about to begin, this is the kick off.

You are really going to see something now Due to NETWORK FAILURE we will have to substitute.

Announcer: As we left her yesterday, Portia Pan-head was hanging by her toes over the edge of the cliff. Simon Stonehart has threatened to tickle her toes unless she pays the rent. And now "Portia Faces Life."

Network Failure

A girl comes out dressed in a ridiculous fashion, sits on the piano, pulls her dress up above her knee, and begins to sing in a high voice Bali Hal

Network Failure

Announcer: There you have it. Thefirst half of the Glenwood homecoming game with Morris. Listen to that crowd roar. Don't forget the homecoming game dance. Spike Jones will supply the music. I guess they had quite a powwow. The students had a lot of fun despite the fact that the town was burned down. Now we will have a little news by Luella Parsnips back at the studio.

A girl gives some of the local school gossip concerning some of the teachers, some of the students, etc.

Announcer: The second half of the game is about to begin. But first I will summarize the events of the first half. (Pause) That was a summary of the first half, you see nothing happened, the score is 0 to 0. Later on in the game we will introduce 3D television, so be sure to watch. And here is the kick off! It's toe high, It's ankle high, it's knee high, it's hip high, it's waist high, it's (announcer fades out)

Network Failure

Bali Hai is sung again by girl (first two lines.)

Network Failure

Announcer: And now for a word from our sponsor. Here are the crazy cacklings of three money minded farmers in the Glenwood area. Mr. McTavish, who raises MOO, Mrs. Murphy who raises CLUCK, and Mr. McDonald who raises OINK. (As the announcer reads each name each person gives a testimonial as to why he likes a feed he is using)

Network Failure

Announcer: And now back to. our story, Volume 2, Book 6, Part 3, Chapter 1, Paragraph 84, word 7, Syllable 2, Letter 2 of "Hope is Eternal." The story that asks this question, Can this girl from a little mining town in the West, find happiness in a little mining town in the East? And above all, will she, or will she not, have to bring along her geiger counter? As our story opens today our heroine is seated at the breakfast table with her husband. (A boy and girl are seated at a table, the boy reads a paper while eating. The girl gets up, walks around, and talks to him about the conditions under which they are living. Finally in desperation she runs over and snatches the paper from him)

Network Failure

Back at the game

Announcer: I have exciting news for you after this jingle. Here comes the Old Mold dancing girls, King sized, Filter tip, and Regular. Old Mold is made up of the finest mold, mosses, and fungus growths. You can imagine how it tastes. Poor taste and the highest cost too. Just the thing to grow a nice cancer in your throat. Now back to the game and ladies and gentlemen, this is the initial testing of three dimensional television. It will be so realistic that things seem to come right out at you. It will thrill you, it will chill you, it may even kill you! (Players come on and make a few plays.) Here comes a pass, and it is way over the ends head. (Ball goes out of the screen toward the audience, the boy who is tuning grabs the ball and jumps into the set to hand the ball to the players. He then runs off the stage). Here comes another play, and the halfback goes around end and goes all the way for the touchdown. (After the final play, the players go off the stage). The final score is Glenwood 86, Morris 0. Before we leave the game let's have a look at those sensational cheerleaders from Glenwood. The cheerleaders lead a yell.

(While the television set is tuned to the game, there should be a group of students seated in bleachers toward the back of the stage. They act as spectators at the game.) Glenwood High School, Minn.

The Pepper Upper

Srene: Place a large empty refrigerator box at the center of the stage that is big enough for a person to walk into easily. Or you can arrange a platform, decorated with crepe paper to represent a large box. This box is supposed to appear as though it was a piece of machinery. Have a few wheels or handles attached to it, push buttons, several dials, etc. One dial could read "Extra Strong Pep" etc. The panel of the box which has these gadgets is to be operated by our Doctor Pepper. Several assistants are in the background with various noise makers which they use while the Doctor operates the machine. Noisemakers such as hammer, drums, tin pans will suffice. The Doctor is standing by the gauges twisting the dials, etc. as the scene opens.

Dr. Pepper: Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen: I have been asked by your school principal, Mr to appear before you to-day to demonstrate my new invention, "The Pepper Upper." After years of study and research with my colleagues we have developed a machine . . . this machine . . . that actually puts new life and pep into anyone that gets in the machine. Now my assistants in the audience will please select the first victim ah ah I mean the first patient.

1st Assistant in Audience: I have a gentleman doctor.

Doctor: That is fine. Have the gentleman come forward please.

Scene: Obtain one of the faculty members that enjoys a little fun, if possible and have him come lazily up to the machine with a "dead pan" expression.

Doctor: Your name sir?

Patient: I am Prof the schools chemistry teacher.

Doctor: Well now sir, just where do you seem to be aching?

Patient: Aching . . . why my knees, legs and feet just won't hardly carry me anymore. I have taken tonics, pills and shots galore but nothing seems to help me anymore. ... I sure hope your machine does what you claim it will do.

Doctor: It will sir. . . . with your cooperation . . . now please . . . step this way and into the machine . . . that is fine sir ... now pass right on through and . . . yes there you are.

Scene: While patient is in machine the doctor turns the dials, works levers, etc. and the assistants in background make the necessary noises. After being in the machine about a minute the patient comes out jumping, singing and showing all kinds of pep. The same procedure goes on while several other people pass through the machine. Everyone going in does so lazily and exits full of pep. Finally the doctor has the coach and the team pass through the machine and they come out just dancing and full of pep.

Coach: Doctor Pepper this is a wonderful day! I am sure after this wonderful treatment our boys will beat           

Doctor: Now folks we just do not have the time to put all of you through this wonderful machine ... it is too bad we cannot do this . . . instead suppose we just put the cheerleaders through, and if it works as it should the cheerleaders will put the pep in you.

Scene: The cheerleaders enter slowly, remarking, gosh I hope this thing works, etc. Then they come out of the machine full of pep, jumping and yelling and line up in front and lead in some snappy yells.

The Pep Talk

Narrator: Our scene takes place before the big game between and It seems that a "pep talk" is taking place.
 
Scene: A huddle of people all with their backs to the audience. There is a person in the middle standing on a chair facing the crowd in huddle, this person standing on the chair is giving the pep talk.

Pep Speaker: Now gang, this is going to be a real tough game. There is going to be a big crowd and they are expecting great things of us. You have to have lots of spirit and drive to push right on through and get the job done! You have all been trained for your particular assignments and you know what to do, so STAY ALERT and cash in on every opportunity that you get; STAY ALERT, always on the go. After seeing our last game they will probably be expecting a little change, so watch! Stay alert! O.K. gang, let's get out there and hit 'em with everything we've got! Go! Go! Go!

The crowd breaks and faces the audience. They then show the audience for the first time what they have in their hands candy, pop corn, soda pop, peanuts, etc. They then yell out to the audience: PEANUTS, POP CORN, SODA POP, CANDY, ETC.

The ending takes the audience by complete surprise as the illusion was to make it appear as though a coach was giving the ball team a pep talk.

The Prisoner

Narrator: Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I regret it is necessary for me to inform you that our mighty (home team mascot) has been shackled by the cruel scheming (opponent mascot). Our cheerleaders have gone to try to get his release.

Scene: As the curtain opens the opponent mascot is standing firm and the home team mascot is sitting on the stage with a ball and chain shackled on his ankles. (A ball and chain can be fashioned out of tin foil or foil wrapping paper easily.) The cheerleaders enter.

Cheerleader: Come on (home mascot). You're going to have to break that heavy chain to get loose. Come on now . . . try hard. (He pulls and pulls but in vain).

Cheerleader: Say gang all (home mascot) needs is some encouragement from us, so let's show him in a big way we are all solidly behind him. Let's give a big yell for him!

Cheerleaders then turn and lead the crowd in a yell, during which the home team mascot is pulling madly at the chain. As he does not get loose on the first yell

Cheerleader: Gang we just got to do better than that . . . now let's try it again and give it all you've got.

Cheerleaders turn and lead crowd in the second yell during which the mascot almost gets loose . . . the opponent mascot showing great alarm over this but he still stands firm.

Cheerleader: We almost had him that time gang now let's give it everything you got this time and we'll have our beloved (mascot) back with us again.

When the third yell is finished the mascot breaks loose and attacks the opponent mascot and quickly subdues him.

Cheerleader: Yeaa . . . we have conquered again . . . with you so solidly behind our team yelling like that, there is no one we cannot conquer!

The Quiet One

Narrator: Marsha Robbins, a cheerleader, failed to make the necessary "B" average in her school work and has been replaced as cheerleader. As Marsha was an excellent cheerleader the new coach (another cheerleader dressed as a coach) decided to visit Marsha's teacher to persuade her to make Marsha study more so she could get back on the squad.

Scene: Marsha and her teacher (another cheerleader dressed as the teacher) are in the classroom waiting the arrival of the coach.

Marsha: Now Miss teacher, Miss Hunt will be here any minute. She is our new coach but she has been complaining of an ear infection. Really she is having a time with her ear . . . cannot hear hardly at all and you have to talk real loud to her ... so be sure, when she comes you talk real loud so Miss Hunt will not be embarrassed.

Teacher: I'll do my best Marsha.

Scene: Marsha glances out the door and sees Miss Hunt coming.

Marsha: Excuse me Miss teacher, here comes our coach now. . . . I'll just go out and welcome her. Marsha steps outside the door . . . enter Miss Hunt.

Coach: Hi Marsha . . . teacher here?

Marsha: Yes Miss Hunt she is waiting for you. I forgot to tell you Miss Hunt about our teacher . .. she has had a bad cold .. . real bad cold and it has effected her hearing temporarily . . . she is really quite deaf today . . . she cannot hear well and you will have to talk real loud to her . . . she is embarrassed about it so please talk real real loud to her.

Coach: Alright Marsha . . . I'll do my best.

Scene: Miss Hunt and Marsha enter class room.

Teacher: Good afternoon Miss Hunt (very loud).

Miss Hunt: Good afternoon Miss, I have come to see you about Marsha. . . you have just got to make her study (very loud).

Teacher: Real loud. She does study and studies hard.

Miss Hunt: Real loud. Well she has to study even harder as we want her on our squad . . . you had no right to fail her.

Teacher: Fail her (very loud). I didn't fail her . . . it was her Math teacher that failed her.

Scene: After a few such exchanges during which Marsha is in the corner going thru yell motions as the women exchange their loud talking. Marsha breaks into loud laughter.

Marsha: See Miss Hunt... see Miss I knew I could get you both to yell real loud ... now let's see if we can get the students to yell louder (and with this the three cheerleaders turn to the students and lead in the "yell a little louder" routine.

Raise That Spirit

Style of "Hernando's Hideaway"

Scene: The Cheerleaders come out on the stage saying

Cheerleaders: Come on gang, we've got to raise that old school spirit, so let's give a yell. (A large box or turned over table is placed in the middle of the stage with a sheet draped over it. A student is behind it under the sheet. A big sign with SPIRIT written on it is hung on the sheet.)

At the end of the first yell, the spirit rises up a little; another yell is given, and it rises up still more, and at the end of the third yell the spirit has raised way up.

Cheerleaders: Well, we've raised that school spirit, let's go back and confer with it. (Cheerleaders go back and get under the sheet and the band begins to softly play "Hernando's Hideaivay") The Cheerleaders sing the following words:

Cheerleaders: I know a way that we can win, Just fight and fight and fight again, Although the odds be great or small, We are the very best of all. Ola! We'll fight and fight and fight tonight, And the score will be just right, We'll hit 'em high and hit 'em low, And over the goal line we will go. Ola! Of our ball team we will be proud, And they will always please the crowd, We'll cheer and cheer and cheer some more, And, then, we'll get that great big score, Ola! Scene: Cheerleaders step out of the sheet and say:

Cheerleaders: The Spirit of has spoken! Curtain closes.

How Sally Learned To Be A Cheerleader Or Visits To The Zoo Can Be Valuable

(This skit is done in pantomime as the announcer narrates.)

Announcer: Our scene opens with Sally, a Cheerleader, very nervous about her first Pep Rally that evening. She is frantically searching for some new motions for the yells, and to relax and take her mind off things, she decides to visit the Zoo.

(Enter Sally). The first animal she sees is the Elephant. (Enter a student waving arm in front like the trunk of an elephant Sally looks at the Elephant and says, "Hmmmmmmmm").

Announcer: Next Sally sees a Monkey. (Enter a student jumping up and down scratching self under arm, etc. Sally also notices Monkey.)

Announcer: Next Sally sees the Snakes. (Enter two girls wriggling vigorously.)

Announcer: Next Sally sees the Lions and Tigers. (Enter two students making vicious faces and roaring loudly.)

Announcer: In the next cage are the graceful birds.
(Enter a student waving arms like a bird in flight.)

(Other animals can be shown if it is desired to lengthen the skit.) Announcer: Sally looks at her watch and sees that it is almost time for the Pep Rally, so she leaves the Zoo. (Exit Sally). Announcer: Our scene is now the big Pep Rally and Sally is announcing a yell to the Student Body.
(Enter Sally). Sally: O.K. Gang. Let's give old "FIGHT TEAM FIGHT.

Ready 1-2-3 (She swings arm in front of body like the Elephant.)

FIGHT TEAM FIGHT! (She uses Monkey motions.)

FIGHT TEAM FIGHT! (She wriggles like a Snake.)

FIGHT TEAM! (She roars like a Lion.)

FIGHT TEAM! (She roars like a Tiger.)

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! (She flies off the stage like the Birds.)

Curtain

(This stunt is more effective if several cheerleaders do the yell with the animal motions.)

The Sponsor Speaks Radio Station F U N

The scene is in a broadcasting studio and the announcer is interviewing the basketball coach Miss Trivella.

Announcer: Now Miss Trivella we want to know all about the big game tomorrow night so let's start by telling us just who your school, is playing.

Miss Trivella: Well, we are going to ....

Announcer: But first let us have a word from our sponsor.

Pat: If your hand itches, you're going to get something; if your head itches, you've got it, so try Schmel Hair Tonic. A recent survey now shows that hair tonic is now sold in bottles, jars, tubes and injections. But the makers of Schmel Hair Tonic bring you something entirely new and different . . . hair tonic frozen on a stick called a Schmel Stickle.

Announcer: Men, do you comb your hair with a wash rag? Do you have to switch your head to dim when you pass a pedestrian? . . . then try Schmel the hair tonic that trains your hair to lie down, sit up, beg or bring home the evening paper. We suggest that you try Schmel for just ten days. ... If you are not completely satisfied then we suggest you try it for four more 'days . .. before you know it two weeks have gone by.

Pat: And remember folks, Schmel is spelled just as yon see it on the wrapper. Also Schmel makes your hair come in heavy. . . . Just listen to a letter from one satisfied customer . . . J. Hirsho-moire Lonbettle.

Helen: Schmel makes my hair come in heavy.... To be sure I have only one hair but it weighs 18 lbs.

Announcer: Well coach, how does the team feel about this game tomorrow?

Miss Trivella: Well the team feels like that ....

Announcer: And now a word from our sponsor.

Pat: Is your cranium so bald that you have to keep your hat in place with scotch tape? ... If so, you should try Schmel Hair Tonic. . . . Just listen to a satisfied customer telling his friend about Schmel... .

Helen: "Say, Harry, you use to be bald, where in the world did you get that beautiful head of hair?"

Pat: I've been using Schmel Hair Tonic. You know, that stuff will grow hair on a billiard ball.

Helen: It will?

Announcer: Yeah, but it sure ruins your game.

Pat: We pause now for station purification.

Helen: This is Station F-U-N, the voice of Wichita.

Announcer: Well Coach are you expecting a lot of fans out for the game tomorrow?

Miss Trivella: Well we are looking for. . . .

Pat: Now a word from our sponsor.

Announcer: Mothers, do you have children? If so stuff their fat little faces with the breakfast of failures Hush. . .. Hush is the only cereal that doesn't pop, snap or crackle. It just lies in your bowl in a soggy mess. Hush is untouched by human hands ... we kick it in the boxes with our feet. Some like their Hush with milk . . . others with peaches and cream . . . but it's no use . . . you can't kill that taste.

Sue: Thank you Coach for coming up to visit us tonight. We have certainly enjoyed talking to you.

Pat: Friends, why not try Huh cigarettes . . . they're five feet long. Smoke them in bed and keep your feet warm. While some companies claim their cigarettes are toasted our cigarettes are burned to a crisp. And remember . . . when you spell Huh backwards it's Huh.

Helen: Now for a little local news.

Margaret: Well they ain't a great deal of news tonight. I see here where there's a lot of people who will never listen to a radio again.

Pat: Lost they're hearing did they Margaret?

Margaret: St. Bernard Dog for Sale: will eat anything; very! fond of children. . . . For rent: furnished apartment, suitable for gentleman with folding doors. Wanted: a good crib for baby with straight legs and soft mattress. Lost: near the art building, an umbrella belonging to a man with a broken rib and a bone handle.

Lost: a fine wrist watch by a lady with Elgin movements. Wanted: man for gardening, also to take charge of a cow . . . who can sing in choir and play the organ.

Flash: Bus hits a woman.

For Sale: Goat giving milk also goose feather pillows.

Notice: Mrs. Sarah Allen is seriously ill and all persons are requested by her two sons to stop coming to see the big hog until she improves.

For Sale: Combination stove and baby buggy.

Card of Thanks: Mrs. John Short wishes to thank her friends for their help in the death of her husband.

Announcer: That's all tonight folks ... see you again next week.

Pat: Men . . . have you tried Scrape-o Shaving Cream? It removes the chief nuisance of shaving, the face. With Scrape-o there's no brush, no lather, no rubbing . . . just blood. Scrape-o is not sold in jars, bottles, cans or tubes . . . only in drug stores. Remember our motto: We guarantee our products not for months, not for years, not for life; in fact, not at all.

Stronger Than Steel

Characters:

Professor Longhair                   A Student
Joe Atlas Sampson                   Husky Student

Several Boys (dressed as professors)    Students

Nurse                                       Student

The scene opens with Professor Longhair sitting at a desk talking in the microphone. The nurse and other professors are standing around him. On the stage there is a wooden box with a rope around it. The box is supposed to be very, very heavy but actually empty. It should also be a good size and not too small. There are also one or two, six or seven foot folding ladders open on stage.

Professor Longhair: We are gathered here this evening to prove that man's teeth and bones are as strong or even stronger than steel. The professor then raps an old tire iron on the desk and then takes a dog bone and raps it a few times.

To prove this point we have gone to the four corners of the earth in search of a man willing to subject himself to brutal punishment to prove our statement.

The other professors and nurse then all bow and gesture the truth of Professor Longhair's statement. The other professors then walk to the box and by struggling tactics move it close to the ladder. After considerable trouble they get the box at the foot of the ladder. This heavy box weighs more than 500 pounds. It is full of heavy iron. (Enter Sampson). I now take great pleasure in introducing to you Mr. Joe Atlas Sampson of Deaf Smith County, Texas. (Sampson should be dressed in shorts.) Show the audience your fine choppers, Mr. Sampson. Mr. Sampson will hold this heavy box of iron while he hangs suspended by his teeth, to prove our statement. I might add that Mr. Sampson has never been to a dentist. He states the nearest dentist to the town he lives in is over 300 miles. We are told fluoride in the well water he drinks at home keeps his teeth strong and healthy so he never has to go to the dentist. A rope with leather strap attached is suspended from the ceiling. Sampson then with the help of one other lifts the box up two rungs on the ladder. While holding the box permitting it to rest partly on the ladder he places the leather strap in his mouth. The setting to give the appearance that he will hang1 on to the strap by his teeth while holding the box in his hands. Sampson is also up on one of the ladders. Professor Longhair: Are you ready Mr. Sampson? Then take away the ladders (he shouts). (The lights go out or the curtain is partially drawn and loud noises are made.) The scene ends with Sampson's teeth hanging alone in the leather strap. (The teeth can be a set from a trick store or they could be fashioned from an apple, pear or wood, etc.) Sampson is on the floor, rubbing his mouth.

The Swami

Scene: (Enter down the aisle four cheerleaders, one with a towel wrapped like a turban on her head and followed by three others wearing sheets, one carrying a large pillow with a Crystal Ball (fish bowl, etc.). The band could play some oriental music. The figures proceed to ascend upon the stage. The Swami squats in the middle of the stage and the pillow and Crystal Ball is placed before him.)

First Helper: Introducing the Great Swami from Swami Land. He has strange mystical powers. He can foretell the past, the present, and the future in his Crystal Ball. Today we are going to give you a brief demonstration of his magical powers.

Scene: The three Helpers descend into the audience, and pass among' the students picking out some objects and holding them up. Then Swami turns sideways and stares down into the Crystal Ball.

First Helper: (Removing some student's eye glasses.) Swami, what do you SEE in your Crystal Ball, what do you SEE ? (It is very evident to all that a definite signal is being given to the Swami as the See is said loudly.) The Swami: I see glasses.

Second Helper: (Holding up a girl's earring taken from someone in crowd.) I'm in the back of the room Swami, can you HEAR me? HEAR me?

Swami: Oh yes, I hear you. I see a pair of earrings.

Second Helper: Marvelous, Swami. Marvelous.

Third Helper: (Removes a girl's ring and holds it up.) What do you see in your Crystal Ball this time? Does it RING a bell, Great Swami?

Swami: Ah yes! I see a ring.

Third Helper: Wonderful, Swami, wonderful!

First Helper: (Removing a boy's shoe.) One last test, Swami. Now don't let this one deFEAT you. Don't let it deFEAT you, Great Swami.

Swami: Let's see. Ah, yes, I see a shoe.

Other Cheerleaders: (Enter the stage.) Oh, wonderful Swami. Tell us who is going to win the big game tomorrow? Yes! Yes! Tell us!

Swami: Very well, let me see. Oh! It's a wonderful game. There's a long pass a touchdown. Oh!

It's wonderful. It's very evident who is winning.

It's (The band clangs the symbol.)

Scene: (The Swami freezes. He rises and appears to be in a trance. One of his helpers steps up and says )

Helper: He has just received the call from the other world. He is communing with the spirits and can't be reached for hours.

Cheerleaders: Well, folks. I guess we'll all just have to go to the game to see what Swami saw in his Crystal Ball. Curtain closes.

Three Speeds

Scene: Same scene is presented three times, each at a different speed. Narrator stands in front of the curtain.

Narrator: Ladies and Gentlemen . . . today we are going to introduce to you an entirely different concept of entertainment. A new medium, and technique of presentation that has never before been presented. You have all seen cinemascope; listened to sterophonic sound and witnessed 3-D . . . now . . . for the first time . . . you will see something entirely new!

Scene: Enter two girls from behind each wing. They walk very slowly to the center of the stage. When they meet they turn and face the audience; speaking very very slowly.

Girls: When the sun comes up ... and the moon goes down . . . you can still see Leuke . . . making his rounds.

Scene: Girls walk back to their wings as the curtain slowly opens. When the curtain is open the audience sees a hillbilly scene with the following characters.

Mom washing clothes in a bucket. Pa seated in chair or rocker, reading newspaper and there is a corn cob pipe in his mouth. Sis combing her hair in mirror. Brothers playing cards on floor. Leuke enters carrying either a shot gun or water pistol and he walks real slowly over to Mom. Everything at this time is done very very slowly.

Leuke: Mom ... do you think the (home team) is going to win tonight?

Mom: Well son ... I can't rightly say . . . don't look like they will.

Leuke: Well . . . guess I'll have to shoot you then.

Scene: Leuke then pulls out the gun and shoots her. She finishes wringing out the piece she was washing and falls head first in the bucket. Leuke then turns to Pa and using the same dialogue he gets the same answers. Leuke then shoots Pa. He then turns to the other characters and slowly continues the same dialogue and actions, until he has shot them all. Each character finishes what they are doing before they die after being shot. Pa folds up his paper, takes the pipe out of his mouth, lays it down after emptying it and falls out of the chair. One brother says "Gin" and spreads out his hand of cards and then dies. Sis takes one last swipe with the comb, admires herself in the mirror, then slumps dead. All actions and talk are done real slowly.

Leuke: Well I think the (hometown) will win!

Scene: The curtain closes, a little faster this time. The two girls again enter the stage from the wings and walk about normal speed, say the same things as they did at first. The curtain opens at about normal speed and the same scene is presented with same actions and dialogue throughout except that everything is said and done at normal speed and action. The curtain is then closed very fast. The two girls rush out on stage and say the introduction as fast as they can and the same actions and scenes are done as at first only everything is said and done just as fast as possible and at the end even the curtain is closed rapidly.

Narrator: And there you have it folks . . . NOT cinemascope . . . NOT 3-D . . . BUT THREE SPEEDS!

A World Of Cheering

Speaker: We decided to take a trip around the world to compare our cheerleaders with those from other countries. What we saw amazed us so that we packed up a sample and brought it home. We boarded a TWA airliner directly from (home town), and within a few hours we found ourselves the innocent spectators of an assembly where the Hawaiian cheerleaders were spurring their men on for the big water-ski contest. Bring her on.

Scene: Hawaiian girl enters wearing grass skirt, lets, etc., and dancing in the Hawaiian style she gives a short yell.

Cheerleader: Aloha .. . fight! Aloha . . . fight! We're gonna win this game tonight! Exits.

Speaker: After that we boarded the plane and flew to Siam.

Scene: Two girls enter walking directly behind each other and both are wrapped in the same sheet to look like the "Siamese Twins." They face the audience, one girl behind the other and it looks as if there was one girl with four arms. Use all arms during the following yell.

Cheerleaders: We are Siamese if you please We have funny legs and bony knees We don't do a jump at the last For you see it is against our caste.

Speaker: From there we flew to China, where this little Chinese girl is giving out with a great big cheer. (Chinese girl comes out dressed typical of China.)

Cheerleader: (In timid voice): Chicka-Chacka-Chui. We're gonna beat-a-youi . . . velley velley goode . . . denk you . . . denk you velley velley much denk you. Exits.

Speaker: Next we managed to sneak behind the Iron Curtain and while peeking around the curtain this is what we saw. (Russian girl enters walking very stiffly.)

Cheerleader: Yeah, Russia; Yeah, Reds; Yeah, Stalin oh! He's Dead! (Exits.)

Speaker: Of course, our trip wouldn't have been complete without paying a visit to that well-known country, Scotland. Here is what we saw as the team was preparing to compete in a skiing contest. (Scottish cheerleader enters wearing Scottish clothes.)

Cheerleader: Yeah, Scottish laddies, beat those daddies. (Exits.)

(Off stage someone screams and the Hawaiian girl comes running out with the captain chasing her, pushing a lawn mower.)

Speaker: And then we flew to dear old England and visiting old Oxford we found this cheerio. Cheerleader: Ay say ole chaps. . . . Let's have a Fight Team Fight. Well, Pip Pip, Tut Tut, and all that Rot. Tally ho!

Speaker: After England we reboarded our airliner and headed for France. No trip abroad would be complete without a visit to Gay Paree. Here we witnessed a French cheerleader as the French players were warming up for a game of ice hockey. Sit tight folks as we look in on a real French cheer. Cheerleader: Peaches and Cream . . . Peaches and Cream

He's the captain of our team (Captain's name) J-O-H-N Come on Big Boy . . . Let's GO! Scene: She exits and a player races out after her.

Speaker: From France we visited Italy and those colorful Italians . . . my how they cheer. Cheerleader: A letsa yella really louda now . . . ole sole amio

Spaghetti, ravioli a Pizza too We gotta team that will a beata you Mamma mia . . . what a teama! Exits.

Speaker: Flying across the Mediterranean we took a look at the Belgian Congo before heading towards home. Let's see how the girls from the Belgian Congo lead their yells.

Scene: Cheerleader enters wearing a gunny sack and barefoot: her hair is mussed up every which way and there is a bone crowning her head.

Cheerleader: Chicka-lacka; chicka-lacka; ummmmm chow!

Scene: She runs at someone in the audience and takes them by the hair. Exits.

Speaker: Then off again, this time to that cold cold bleak country of ours, Alaska. Here the Alaskan cheerleaders were encouraging their team to bring the spear-throwing trophy home. Exits.

Scene: Cheerleader enters dressed heavily in overcoat, etc.

Cheerleader: Our Team is real COOL! Exits.

Speaker: Next we turned to wondrous Mexico. Here we see the Mexican version of a cheerleader convincing their men to try: (Mexican enters.)

Cheerleader: Siesta, Siesta, the next best thing is fiesta! No? Exits.

Speaker: And back again in our own country we come across some real live Indians doing one of their yells.

Scene: Two cheerleaders dressed as Indians enter stage.

Indian No. 1: Fight!

Indian No. 2: How!

Indian No. 1: Fight!

Indian No. 2: How!

Indian No. 1: Fight!

Indian No. 2: How!

Both Indians: HARD!

Speaker: Well now Ladies and Gentlemen you have seen a World of cheerleading. Now really don't you agree there's no better cheerleaders than ours?

Teamwork

Narrator: The name of our little skit today Ladies and Gentlemen is Teamwork. We are going to show in this skit just how important it is for every team member to do his or her part. We are having our six cheerleaders demonstrate this fact to you ... so ... watch closely. Team ... are you ready?

Cheerleaders: Yeah!

Narrator: Then let's go!

Cheerleader No. 1: Carries a card table to front of stage and sets it up, walks to side.

Cheerleader No. 2: Brings in a bottle of coca cola and sets it on table. Walks to side.

Cheerleader No. 3: Has a bottle opener in her hand and opens the bottle of coca cola. Walks to side.

Cheerleader No. 4: Pours the coca cola into a cup, walks to side.

Cheerleader No. 5: Drinks the cup of coca cola or as much as she can in one quick gulp, walks to side.

Cheerleader No. 6: Goes to front of stage and just burps, then walks to side.

Narrator: See folks . . . that's what we mean by teamwork . . . everyone does her part . . . now watch them lead us in a cheer for our team.

Note: If more than six cheerleaders are used the skit may be drawn out by having one cheerleader wipe off the table; another just bring out the cup; another pour the drink; another adjust microphone, etc. It is better to use a cup or glass that is not transparent than to have the cheerleader drink from the bottle as the bottle contains more than a person can drink in one swallow.

Trial By Jury Or "Twelve Angry Men"

CAST

Bailiff                                        Yell King
Coach                                       Narrator
Judge Victory                           Student Body (Mr. Prosecutor)
Team Captain                           A Jury of Twelve Men

Each character might wear a sign so that the audience may remember who he is.

As the judge is introduced he may step in as all rise to their feet.

Everyone on stage should be rocking with the time. As each is introduced to take the witness stand, he should step up with some real jazzy steps; and step down in the same manner. Every move should be in time. As "Y.K." says "roofs," he should rise from the witness chair, seize Mr. Prosecuting Stu. Body by the shoulders firmly and seat him in the chair. The judge passes sentence and turns to the jury and audience to ask them how they like the verdict.

Bailiff: Now hear ye, hear ye, one and all,
This court's been called in the student hall.
Judge Victory, presiding here,
Will hand down a verdict, clean and clear. Narrator:
On the prosecution side is the student body,
And here on defense is the coach, you see.
The prosecution has jumped the gun
And gotten poor coach on the run. Coach:
But I ask you, sir,
Am I to blame
If that pep-less squad
Is so lame? Student Body:
Strange, that a team with such beef and muscle
Should rate so low when it's time to hustle.

Bailiff: And next we call to be put on the spot Is the captain of this lifeless lot.
Team Captain: Please hear me out, I'll tell ya true,
It's the goof-squad yell kings that spoil the stew! Narrator:
As the clouds of doubt clear away,
The meek Yell King is now at bay. Yell King:*
But I tell you, sir, we are the goofs,
If the students' yell don't raise the roofs?
We try and yell our poor lungs out,

We tumble and roll and jump about.
But you lifeless students just sit and snore
While the opposite team goes on to score. Judge Victory:
I hereby sentence and order you
To support the coach and team straight through.
How do you like the verdict? Jury:
It's cool and collected.
Our varsity squad won't feel dejected. Yell King:
How's everybody feelin? Jury:
SATISFIED! Etc. (et., al.)
(Cheerleader and others lead the crowd in yell, '•SATISFIED.'")

Dave Kirkwood Los Angeles, Calif. *On the West Coast the head cheerleader is called the Yell King or Yell Queen.

Bar-B-Cue Moundsview

Scene: (Cheerleaders are on floor leading cheers when the cheerleader at the mike notices a girl walking toward her. She's wearing a big Barb-cue apron and hat, and is carrying a picnic basket. As she approaches the mike the cheerleader interrupts her cheer and says:)

Cheerleader: Excuse me folks. Say, are you supposed to be here? What are you doing?

Picnicker: Of course I'm supposed to be here. I'm going to a bar-b-cue. Haven't you heard? There's a big bar-b-cue tonight at Clark Field. We're going to bar-b-cue Moundsview.

Cheerleader: Say is this true? Here comes our coach Mr. Nylund. Maybe he can tell us a little more about it. How about that Mr. Nylund?

Scene: (Boy wearing the sign enters wheeling outdoor bar-b-cue pit. He's wearing a bar-b-cue apron and hat.)

Coach: Yep, that's right, and here comes the rest of the bar-b-cue now.

Scene: (Shouts are heard as kids run in from every door of the auditorium, boys and girls, dressed in aprons and hats, and carrying signs, the signs say:)

Bar-b-cue Moundsview Moundsview are SHRIMPS VEAL Make Hash of them We'll skin the DOGS We're not CHICKEN WEINER lose, they'll never be the same We never SAUSAGE a team

(Bar-b-cuers form a circle around girl with picnic basket and sit, looking toward the door, waiting expectantly. Pep band begins playing "Pomp and Circumstance" as two apron-clad waiters bearing1 a "pig" on a platter, enter doing a ceremonial walk. The "pig" is a small Sophomore dressed in pink cords and shirt, and wearing a sort of pink sack with elastic at the neck and legs. He is wearing a sign that says "Moundsview." The sack is stuffed with crumpled newspapers to give a fat appearance. The "pig" has pink paper ears and snout, an apple in his mouth, and is crouched on the platter to look as much as possible like a roast pig. As the waiters set the platter down, the "pig" makes a last bid for freedom, leaping off the platter and racing around the gym. The bar-b-cuers are up in a flash, screaming "Get him," Catch him," etc. The waiters are in hot pursuit, and finally chase the pig out the door. As he goes out, the picnickers join in the chase. The Cheerleader returns to the mike after everyone is out and says: Cheerleader: We'll catch him at Clark Field tonight!

"T'WAS THE NIGHT OF THE GAME" (Christmas Recitation) (Football Version)

T'was the night of the game when all through the stands

Not a fan was stirring the kickoff began. The players were placed on the field with great care In hopes that victory soon would be theirs. The spectators were nestled all snug in their seats With visions of victory instead of defeat. And Ma in her fur and Pa in in his coat was watching the half-back; the ball he did tote. Away down the field he flew like a flash But he met an opponent and was downed with a crash. The lights on the rest of the field down below revealed the players lined up in a row. When out of the mouth of the full-back there came A shout of some numbers, "Continue the game!" A little cheerleader so lively and quick I knew in a moment it must be young Rick. More rapid than eagles the players they came And he whistled and shouted and called them by name, "Now Ketron! Now Holub! Now Harbor and Williams !

On Hallmark! On Haney! On McMullen and Gil-liams!

To the thirty-yard marker, the twenty-yard sign, Now all the way, all the way, clear down the line." As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, When they meet with an obstacle mount to the sky, So up to the airlanes the football it flew and came down to an end who was waiting there, too And then in a twinkle, I heard from the stands the loud booming music played by the band. When the football was snapped left end he went around, across the goal line he went with a bound. The crowd went up with a mighty roar when they kicked the extra point, 7 to 0 was the score. On went the game. Half time came and went Then after all of the time had been spent Their score was still 0; our score was still 7 Victory was ours and we were floating in heaven. Everyone left and the stands grew dark But I could still sense the feeling of that winning spark.

I'll always remember that night we had fun Because of the fact that our team had won. I could hear the fans shouting as they drove out of sight, "Happy victory to all, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!"

The End

The Night Before Christmas

(Basketball Version)

This skit, for use just before the Christmas holidays, should be done in pantomime. It is an original skit by Mrs. A. E. Lindberg, sponsor of Ishpeming High School, Ishpeming, Michigan. Narrator: 'Twas the day of the game, and in every school hall, The talk was Escanaba and the game was basketball

Faces were long and lips were tight Escanaba's real good can we win tonight? When over in the east wing there arose such a clatter

Scene: (Narrator stops, general game noises whistles, cheering; yelling is heard outside the gymnasium proper.)

Narrator: We ran from our classes to see what was the matter.

Away to the gym we flew like a flash Took to the bleachers glad to get out of class. The glare of the lights on the newly varnished floor.

Gave a clear view of those at the double door. A team and its driver dressed in blue and white Our eyes popped wide at this pleasant sight.

Scene: (Narrator stops. "Santa" and his reindeer enter. "Santa" is a cheerleader dressed in a basketball warm-up suit, wears a long beard, has a basketball over his shoulder. "Santa" represents our basketball coach whose nickname is "Mr. Basketball." "Santa" is drawn in a wagon pulled by eight reindeer who are cheerleaders wearing warm-up jackets. Each reindeer wears a sign naming one of the players on the team. Each reindeer has a set of white cardboard antlers. The reins for the reindeer are made from blue and white (or your school colors) crepe paper.)

Narrator: The driver with his boys, bag and all We knew him at once Mr. Basketball. More rapid than eagles his team can run When he whistles and calls them one by one Now Robert now Gerald, Ruohomake, Decaire On Garrett, on Moffat, on Ronald, on Petare

To the top of the basket, to the top of the rim, Now shoot away, shoot away, shoot 'em all in.

Scene: As the name of each player is read, the cheerleader representing that player prances over toward one of the baskets in the gym and the team forms two lines diagonally in front of the basket.

Narrator: As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly When they meet with an obstacle mount to the sky So up to the basket the team members flew With their hands full of balls and Mr. Basketball too.

Scene: Narrator stops. All members pantomime a warm-up drill.

Narrator: And then in a moment they stop for a rest The driver has orders for tonight's big test. He digs in his bag for plays galore Good shooting, good rebounds, good dribbling on the floor

He passes out plays to each of his team The boys are so happy their faces just beam.

Scene: "Santa" passes out 3x5 cards to the members; they congratulate each other by shaking hands and patting each other on their back, etc.)

Narrator: But wait he has more this man of acclaim

He digs in his bag calls out the name VICTORY tonight for you from the boys VICTORY tonight if you make the noise.

Scene: Narrator stops. "Santa" hauls out a big VICTORY sign from his bag and tosses it to the student body.

Narrator: To Mr. Gehlhoff the boss of us all

He gives a cheering section that's really on the ball.

Scene: Narrator stops. "Santa" digs into his bag and hauls out a large megaphone and tosses it to our principal, Mr. Gehlhoff, who runs out and leads the student body in a yell.

Narrator: He turns to his team gives a toot on his whistle And the way they all fly like the down of a thistle.

Scene: Narrator stops. "Santa" toots on his referee's whistle and the team goes back in place in front of his wagon. He then picks up the reins and the reindeer prance out lifting their knees high and each in step, pulling the wagon. Narrator: But hear him exclaim as he drives out of sight, With your help, student body, we'll beat them tonight.

Our Boys

Scene: This skit requires sufficient persons to represent the first basketball string, the student manager and the coach. These individuals, boys or girls, dressed in warm-up outfits with the manager equipped with towels, resin, first aid kits, etc. and the coach in sweatshirt and other paraphernalia make their appearance before the student body. A narrator reads the following verses. The actors mimic the players, accentuating their individual characteristics.

Narrator: --------------is his name,
With his help, we'll win the game. The one that's really on the beam
Is, co-captain of our team.
When our is on the floor
He helps a lot to raise the score. No better player can be found
When goes in for a rebound.
And now for, our guard supreme
He sinks the ball just like a dream.
When   dribbles down the floor
The fans let go a mighty roar.
When   moves about
Our opponents had better watch out!
Another guard whose name is Krest
Always tries to do his best.
The "A" string subs, Billy,
They're enough, any more would be silly.
With our team and on the ball
Stands our manager, resin and all.
Last of all, I must confess
Is Coach, he's the BEST!
None of our victories could come about
Without our fans to stand and shout. Scene: Cheerleaders appear in front of lineup of the players and say:
Cheerleaders: Put these altogether and what have we got?
A team that's mighty hot!

Scene: Cheerleaders then lead in yell giving fifteen rahs for the team.

Miss Irma Bland, Advisor, Pequot Lakes High School, Minn.

The H-Bomb

Scene: Two cheerleaders walk on the stage (in front of closed curtains) looking intently at a paper they are holding. They put it on the floor and kneel, still looking at it. Two more cheerleaders come on and ask: "What's that? What's up?" etc.

Cheerleaders: First two: "The PLANS!" Scene: The second two get down on the floor to pore over the paper, exclaiming and pointing at one place or another on the paper.

After some exclaiming, one girl gets to her feet, looks at her watch and exclaims:

"Zero Hour!"

The others stand and turn toward the curtain slightly: 5-4-3-2-1-0 S-S-S-S-S!

At 0, the curtains open to reveal the H-Bomb and at S-S-S-S, the Bomb starts up and goes out of sight. The curtains close. The cheerleaders swing into the routine of remaining pep rally. When they start the last cheer, the curtains open to reveal the H-Bomb in the original position, while a weird sound is heard: All look surprised.

First Cheerleaders: "What's this?"

Second: "What's going on?"

Third: (Goes to the Bomb) "Looks like our H-Bomb came back to earth!"

Fourth: "I wonder what's happened? I thought it was supposed to explode!"

Third: "Look! Here's a note!" (Picks it up from the back of the bomb, opens it.) "Looks like it's Russian. Who can read it?"

Fifth: "I can! I can!" (Thoughtfully) "Let's see now, it says: Dear Hornets: You have miscalculated the hour of explosion of your H-Bomb. It will explode on (date, time and place) when the Horton Hornets will meet the Everest Vikings. As we see it, the Hornets will have an earthshaking victory! Signed: MUTNIK, sole inhabitant of Sputnik II." Miss Ruth Jeffreys,

Sponsor of the Horton Pep Club Horton, Kansas

The Coat Rack

This skit requires five cheerleaders and a coat rack plus a football uniform. Each cheerleader is assigned a part of the uniform to put on the "player" (coat rack).

The following verses are said to a beat as the cheerleaders sit in a semicircle on the floor.

Here is the beat we used: Stamp clap stamp clap (pause) clap, clap, clap. Cheerleader 1: This is what our fellas wear To protect their curly hair. (She puts a helmet on top of coat rack) Cheerleader 2: This is what our fellas wear, To build up something that isn't there! (She puts shoulder pads on the rack) Cheerleader 3. This is what our fellas wear, Smudged and dirty, but we don't care! (She puts a jersey on the rack) Cheerleader 4: This is what our fellas wear, Without them they'd be pretty bare! (She puts on the pants) Cheerleader 5: This is what our fellas wear, When taken off just smell the air! (She puts on the shoes)

After each verse the cheerleader returns to the circle. Altogether: Put them together and what have you got, A CI player that's really hot!!

Miss Ramona Johnson Crosby-Ironton High School Trenton, Minnesota

What Our Fellas Wear

This is the Shawnee High School Wolves', Shawnee, Okla., interpretation of the coat rack skit.

Six girls enter, five each carrying a part of a football uniform; the sixth carrying a sign which reads: W.O.W. The sixth steps forward with her sign and asks, "Are you a W.O.W. ?" The five girls in a line-up answer in unison, in a slow, draggy tempo, "That means: Worn-Out Wolves." Number 6 says, "Not our boys!" "We want to show you what our boys are really like."

She steps to one side as the other five girls come forward, one at a time, holding a piece of the football uniform with which they dress her. (As they say their little verse they snap their fingers to a rhythm.) First girl:

This is what our fellas wear,
To protect their curly hair.
(She places helmet on girl's head). Second girl:
This is what our fellas wear,
To build up something that isn't there!
(She places shoulder pads on girl's shoulders).

Third girl:
This is what our fellas wear,
Smudged and dirty, but we don't care!
(She puts jersey on girl). Fourth girl:
This is what our fellas wear,
Without them they'd be pretty bare!
(She puts pants on girl). Fifth girl:
This is what our fellas wear,
When taken off just smell the air!
(She puts shoes on girl).
After each verse, each girl returns to her place in line.
Altogether the 5 girls then say: Put them together and what have you got, A SHAWNEE player that's really hot!!
Girls all pick up the girl they have dressed in uniform and carry her off. (We selected a small girl to look humorous in the big uniform).

Famous Last Words

The stunt may be staged simply by having just a narrator read the lines, however, it would be best to have the narrator read, then have one of the cheerleaders act and say the "last words." You can also easily make up your own "famous last words" to lengthen the stunt if that is desired.

Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen, throughout the ages famous people the world over have made some statement that they are definitely identified with. To illustrate just what I mean; take our famous Patrick Henry. He said "If this is liberty, then give me death." Then, there was that famous man who was Catherine the Great's husband. He said, "Catherine . . . you are great." . . . then the great explorer De Soto, I am sure you all remember De Soto for he said, "See the U.S.A. in a Chevrolet." Uh! (have a cheerleader sing it out like Dinah does throwing a kiss at the audience on the Uh.) . . . Then old Betsy Ross, as she sat there in her rocker she turned to Paw and said: "Paw, how many states did you say were in the union now?" . . . Then there was Carrie Nation, you have all heard of this famous person I am sure, she said, "Take it easy now boys ... I don't want to fall off the wagon again." . . . Then our own famous American inventor, Eli Whitney ... old Eli said, "Take your cotton pickin' hands off my gin." . . . Then we have that famous entertainer Liberace. His famous last words always are . . . "Thank you very much all you nice people and my brother George thanks you too." . . . And now we have a newcomer in our world, Sputnik; but all he says is "Beep" . . . "Beep" . . . "Beep" . . . "Bow Wow!" . . . But before I go any further I want to introduce our favorite and popular principal, Mr, who is going to tell you what his famous last words are. Principal enters stage:

Principal: My to be famous last words before our game tomorrow are "We are going to beat those
Indians tomorrow night."

Cheerleaders: Lead in yell, "Yea Principal," etc.
Narrator: And another very famous and popular person, our own coach, Coach, will tell you his famous last words.

Coach: "Without a doubt we are going to whip those Indians tomorrow night."

Cheerleaders: Lead with "Yea Coach" yell.

Narrator: And last and most important of all here are our own popular team boys and they are going to tell you what their famous last words are before the game tomorrow.

Team: (in unison): "We're going to beat those Indians tomorrow night."

Cheerleaders: The rally ends with yells for the team and each member as time permits.

Miss Victory

Before using this skit at a pep rally it would be a good idea to hang signs around the school "We Want Victory."

Scene: Have one of your pep squad members dressed snappily in your school colors with a special ribbon diagonally across her dress reading in large letters "Miss Victory." As the scene opens the cheerleaders enter the stage looking for something. After looking around a moment or so

First Cheerleader: Now just what are we all looking for?

Cheerleaders: Why we are looking for Miss Victory.

Scene: Miss Victory then runs on the stage saying.

Miss Victory: Don't let them get me again! Don't let them get me again!

Scene: Cheerleaders then grasp her and take her to the microphone.

Cheerleader: Who are you?

Miss Victory: I am Miss Victory ... my love is "The Bulldogs" (or your mascot).

Cheerleader: Where have you been?

Miss Victory: I have been in Amarillo for the past two weeks. Then two weeks before that Palo Duro won me and took me to Amarillo Oh, don't let them get me again! I tried awfully hard to get to the Bulldogs last week but the Amarillo Sandies were just too strong. Finally though I got away and I hope I'm here to stay with the Bulldogs for the rest of the season, I love you Bulldogs so.

Scene: Miss Victory is taken to the chair of honor which has been set up for her. The cheerleaders are seen bowing and scraping to her.

Cheerleaders: (as they rush into formation to lead the students with a yell): We want Victory. We want Victory.

Plainview High School, Texas

Dragon Net

Pep Fest: Willmar Cardinals vs. Litchfield Dragons

1. Enter to song "Dragnet" with the Dragon corpse
(black covered table with Dragon written on it).
Pall bearers girls dressed as football players.

2. Funeral march enter choir followed by minister football players join choir.

3. "12th Street Rag" enter cheerleaders carrying corn stalks for flowers doing the "Charleston."

4. Song take-off on "Sing a Song of Sixpence"

Sing a song of dragons

Their fire is now out They now feel so awful Because they cannot shout We've put out their fire We have won the game All for Willmar High School And her name and fame

We're yelling for the Cardinals Because they've already won We're sorry for the Dragons Because their day is done We've put out their fire We have won this game All for Willmar High School And her name and fame

5. Sermon by the minister: My friends and fellow schoolmates and all you teachers, too. We are gathered here today to pay our disrespects to the last that remains of the Dragons, they are no more. Were they ever? This is the end of the green headed, orange and purple polka dotted, fire-faced Dragon. How did this come about? Just played a hunch. (Choir: (A hunch?) That's right, just a hunch. (Choir: Yah, a hunch. Which hunch?) Thought you'd never ask, an eleven man dragon net!

6. Song: Take-off on "The Old Gray Mare" The Old Green Dragon ain't what she used to be, etc.

7. Minister and choir leave doing the "Bunnyhop."

Coffin carried off by pall bearers to the "Funeral March"
Willmar High School

Halloween Night

Scene: Have about four girls to represent each team dressed like ghosts. One sheet wrapped loosely around them and a football helmet make the dress for each. Then have a person dressed in black and white stripes to represent the referree and two cheerleaders (boys if on squad) dressed as witches with pointed hats and all.

Narrator: In a small town one evening on Halloween Night.

The students at Louisville witnessed this sight. The ghosts and the goblins and the witches and that, (enter home team)

Were playing a team called South Wildcats. (Enter opposing team).

The night it was chilly and full of deep fright (Both teams start doing exercises, ivarm-ups, etc., however, the opposing team has to help push each other up and down). When the ghosts played football on Halloween Night.

Later in the evening, a black cat appeared And the witches and the goblins came forth and they cheered.

(From the rear of the auditorium the two boy cheerleaders dressed as witches come running up on the stage and give a victory yell). For the black cat was mascot of South, you see, And they were trying to scare us out of victory. But the Leopards were fearless and started to fight, When the ghosts played football on Halloween Night.

Scene: All through the verses the players go thru the movements of a football game, except as otherwise noted. Narrator: Now our backfield was great, and our line was the best Our centers, our tackles, our guards and the rest.

They scored those touchdowns left and right, When the ghosts played football on Halloween Night.

Scene: As the next paragraph is read the players stop playing the game and raise their heads as if they were following the band thru the sky.

Narrator: The band was great as they swiftly flew by, In herds of headless horsemen, they sailed through the sky. Past the moon and the stars so bright, Which added a touch to the terror filled night. The coach told the team they were doing all right, When the ghosts played football on Halloween Night. The game was soon over and the goblins took off (Both teams leave) And they mourned and they grieved at the thought of their loss. And each halloween after that game, Everyone knew the ghosts were not the same. The Leopards had won with pretty much fight When the ghosts played football on Halloween Night. Now the South game tomorrow will take much more fight 'Cause the ghosts and the witches won't be here that night. But the Leopards will show those wildcats who's boss, And we'll make them keep grievin' at the thought of their loss And all thru the years they will stay out of sight When the Leopards play South on Halloween Night.

Louisville High School Louisville, Ohio

A Halloween Story

Scene: The cheerleaders are about to start the pep rally. They enter the stage very quietly on tip toes. Each whispering to the other. The first cheerleader points into the wings and says, whispering.

1st Cheerleader: Right over there . . . that is where I saw that big ghost . . . right there! 2nd Cheerleader: Gee, was he that close? 1st Cheerleader: Yes, not over 15 feet away and was he big!

3rd Cheerleader: How big was he? 1st Cheerleader: At least 8 feet tall. 4th Cheerleader: How long ago did you see him? 1st Cheerleader: Oh it's been two weeks ago at least. 2nd Cheerleader: Well why are you whispering then? 1st Cheerleader: Oh, I've got a real bad cold and can't talk loud.

The Dagger

Scene: This skit requires four to six cheerleaders and one person to act as "Friday" the detective. Background "Dragnet" music will add to the skit. Make a large "dagger" out of a piece of cardboard. The cheerleaders are in line on the stage as the narrator enters, dagger in hand.

Narrator: Here take this, (hands dagger to first cheerleader).

1st Cheerleader: What is it? (she passes it to next cheerleader who says "what is it" and she passes it to the next and so on until No. 6 cheerleader has the dagger: each cheerleader asking "what is it?"

No. 6 Cheerleader: It's a dagger. (She passes it on to No. 5 who exclaims "It's a dagger." Each cheerleader in turn says "It's a dagger" and passes it on until the No. 1 cheerleader has it again).

No. 1 Cheerleader: What's on it? (She passes it on down to the other cheerleaders, who each take it saying "What's on it," and passing it to the next until No. 6 has it).

No. 6 Cheerleader: (She carefully examines the dagger and says "BLOOD," passes it to the next; each after examining slowly say Blood until No. 1 cheerleader has it again).

No. 1 Cheerleader: What's it for? (She passes it down the line again, each cheerleader saying "what's it for").

No. 6 Cheerleader: To slay the Indians tomorrow night! (Each cheerleader in turn says the same as she passes it on up and the No. 1 passes it on to the narrator).

Cheerleaders: Lead with a few cheers. Note: This skit can be easily altered to your own mascot. To lengthen it several other questions could be asked such as "what color is it," "how long is it, etc." The cheerleaders could also be blindfolded and they are asked to find out what is being passed to them. If blindfolded they would each handle the dagger carefully, smelling it, etc., and then ask the various questions.

The Burial Of The Old School Spirit

Narrator: Now we will have the burial of the old 1959 School Spirit and the bringing in of the new Spirit.

Scene: The band plays a few bars of a slow funeral march while entering from the left the 1959 Spirit (husky football player), clad entirely in black, staggers onto the stage pushing a wheelbarrow. In it is a 200-lb. football player dressed in a diaper and T-shirt. You can also have pallbearers, flower girls carrying carrots, vegetables, etc. crying loudly, and using bed sheet for towel.

Cheerleaders drag old worn-out Spirit to his coffin (a wooden refrigerator carton on rollers, completely covered with black crepe paper).

Then he is pronounced dead and the coffin is wheeled off the stage.

Fast march begins while a cheerleader helps the new Spirit out of the wheelbarrow. The band stops, and a lone bugle sounds a fanfare as a small boy from the audience (preferably a student) proceeds to the stage. He hands the small velvet pillow he was bearing to a cheerleader and then crowns the new Spirit. As he crowns the new Spirit he says,

Cheerleader: I pronounce you the new 1960 School Spirit.

Immediately after this the band strikes up the school song and the students join the cheerleaders in praising' the new Spirit. The crown-bearer leaves the stage. Then the new Spirit is escorted to his seat in the audience by a cheerleader. Singing of the school song and cheerleaders leading with yells follows.

Fort Scott High School Fort Scott, Kansas

The Old Timer

Scene: Old man, with long beard and cane, hobbles out to microphone. On his way, he can stop, pull out a red handkerchief, blow his nose and wave, shakily, to the audience.

Old Timer: Yes siree, tonight our team is a going to play Don't rightly know who's going to win, but I'll bet my beard it'll be home school. Game 'tain't quite what it used to be in the old days, but it's still a mighty good one. And say, speakin' of games and pep wish you could have seen those cheerleaders back in the old days. Why, I remember the first game I saw.
Scene: Boy dressed as Indian enters from side. He carries a hatchet in one hand, peace pipe in other hand. Tom toms are beating in background as he war dances to middle of floor. Stops, says "How" and proceeds to lead crowd in a cheer to time of torn toms. After he has finished the yell, he dances out other side of gym to beat of torn toms.

The pep club has been briefed ahead of time on the cheers each character is doing:

Old Timer: Quite a boy, wasn't he? But the one the crowd used to really yell for was Miss Gay Ninety.

Scene: Band plays "Bicycle Built for Two," and a girl, dressed in old fashioned clothes, complete with ankle length dress, high button shoes, large hat, gloves and a parasol enters from side. She rides out on an old fashioned bicycle, or a present day model which has been decorated gaily. Makes full use of the bustle she is wearing. She leads a cheer. Any silly little cheer can be used.

Girl: Rubber buggy bumper, Rubber buggy bumper Team, Team. Oops a doop.

Old Timer: But the one I really remember was Wolf Whistle," a real flapper. And here she comes.

Scene: Girl enters from side. (Music Sweet Georgia Brown.) Girl is dressed as a flapper. High heels, low waisted dress rather short, beads, bracelet and garter on knee. She does the Charleston in middle of floor. She keeps similar Charleston movements going while taking crowd through the cheer.

Girl: Eat speedilie ooten dooten Bo bo ski deeten daten Ba da cha cha Yea Team Exits doing Charleston.

Old Timer: You know, I'm just wondering what cheerleaders will look like in the future! I can't quite imagine what they'll look like.

Scene: Girl enters from side. ("Music" sound record of airplane in nosedive). Girl runs, with arms outstretched, tipping from side to side, to the middle of floor. She is dressed in a space suit, complete with helmet or cap with propeller on top. On her heels are pasted cardboard wings. In one hand she carries a pin wheel, in the other, a model airplane or some appropriate object.

She leads the crowd in the "skyrocket" sound effect yell. S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s boom! (turns one handed handspring or cartwheel) ()

High School, Zoom, Zoom, Zoom. Runs out to other wing.

Old Timer: Well, there you have it. S'far back as I can remember and into the future, too. But, you know, as far as I'm concerned, the best ones we've ever seen are right here!

Enter: Cheerleaders in present day uniforms run out and lead the crowd in two familiar, fast yells. At the end of the second one, the band strikes up the school song and cheerleaders and crowd sing it at the top of their lungs!

The Radio Survey

Scene: Radio announcer making personal interviews.

Announcer: This afternoon we will interview several of the parents (or people) of the community to find what their predictions for tonight's game will be. Our first interview will be with our banker. Mr. Lackmann (name of banker) will you give us a banker's opinion of tonight's game?

Banker: The interest is very high, but the principal thing is not to let our reserves run low. I'm sure we can win if "Cash" (player) comes through.

Announcer: Our next stop is at the meat market where we will interview Mr. Garlock (name of butcher). What is a butcher's opinion of tonight's game?

Butcher: Weiner lose, I never sausage a team. We have something to beef about with this outfit.

Announcer: Next we stop at our local mortuary where we find Mr. Stephen (name of undertaker), our local undertaker at work. What do you think of our team?

Undertaker: I heard that some of the boys have colds but I haven't heard any coffin. They will really have to "dig in" to win tonight, but I will be the last to let them down.

Announcer: Next we stop at Mrs. Hulin (housewife) to get her prediction on the game. She has just started her fall house cleaning. What is your opinion of the game Mrs. Hulin?

Housewife: It might be a mess but we'll clean up.

Announcer: And our last interview takes us out on the farm where we meet Mr. Nelson (farmer). Mr. Nelson is just on his way to the barn for the evening milking. What do you have to say about tonight's game?

Farmer: It might be a long hard pull but it's in the bag.

Announcer: Well there you have it folks, all the dope on tonight's game.

Long Prairie High School, Long Prairie, Minnesota

A CHRISTMAS SKIT "A VISIT FROM MR. ZEHREN"

Note: This is a combination skit using the theme, "It Was the Night Before Christmas" and "Dragnet."

Narrator: The G.A.A. Present   Flyer Flash backs.
 
Today's question is, "What goes on in the 'Flyers'' Minds." In this short episode, ladies and gentlemen, we hope to tell you about the night before Aitkin High and our Little Falls "Flyers" dreams. It will also give you a few sketches from our Aitkin-Little Falls basketball game.

Scene: The Narrator at a hidden microphone reads the skit. The students pantomime. The students walk across the stage for the Dragnet parts. 'Twas the night before Aitkin and all through the city

Not a creature was stirring, not even a kitty. The Flyers were nestled all snug in their beds While visions of (Dum Da Dum Dum) danced in their heads. (Dragnet).

9:00 P.M. Was checking up on my team. Passed Robbie Carlson's house. There sat Don Molde and Robbie on the steps looking at each other dreamily. Booked them on a 507 homicide "Killing time."

9:05 P.M. Went on; passed Milt Johnson's; there was someone looking into the upstairs window, probably for Marion. Booked him on a 1107 "Peeping Phil."

9:10 P.M. Further on my way I passed Rich Benn's house, saw him through the window, probably listening to Boogie Woogie. 9:15 P.M. Found Ken Copa at home, checked up; he was in bed. He really must take these basketball rules seriously. Didn't book him just made a mental note of the case. And Zehren in his jacket and Shew in his suit Had just settled down to throw Aitkin down the shoot,

When out of the bleachers the crowd was a shakin'

"Come on you, Flyers, Keep Aitkin Achin'. Away to the team Zehren flew like a flash Get out there and fight or would you be hash? More rapid than coursers these eagles they came And he whistled and shouted and called them by name On Westphal, Benn, Jake, you guys ain't deaf; Come on Wolford and Beto and you too Jeff. Get out there and fight, after tonight it will seem All those crazy visions you saw were only
a dream.

9:20 P.M. Played a hunch, drove down Highway 10, looking for Tookie. Couldn't find him, he must be home (Dum Da Dum Dum). Guess no one knows about Highway 11! Played a dead lead.

9:25 P.M. Say wait a minute who's that walking down E. Broadway? Now they have stopped in a shadow. Here they come. Is that or isn't that Muncie Beto and Terry Brown didn't book them either just took mental note of the situation. 9:30 P.M. Going further up Broadway, I see a car in front of Bill Peterson's. What member of my team knows Carol? Now he's walking her to the door (hmm). Booked him on suspicion.

And then in a twinkling I saw on the floor The Flyers came through, and up rose the score. Zehren's eyes, how they twinkled; his dimples, how merry!

His cheeks were like roses his nose like a cherry.